


Only You

by peaches88



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji Go to Japan, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:15:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27448453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaches88/pseuds/peaches88
Summary: “I need you to understand that you were never a burden. What you did for me…no one else could’ve done it. You showed me that even I deserve happiness.”Eiji felt his chest begin to tighten. “Anyone could’ve done that.”“No,” Ash said sternly. His voice was hard; then, it softened. “Only you.”***Eiji wakes up feeling sick and doesn't tell Ash.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 10
Kudos: 225





	Only You

**Author's Note:**

> okay SO i know i'm supposed to be working on the next chapter of ikanaide (and i am!), but i really wanted to write a sickfic. i love sickfics so i wouldn't be surprised if i write another one in the future....  
> in addition to not having been beta-read, i also wrote this at midnight so i apologize if there are any glaringly obvious mistakes that i missed!

It started with just a scratchy throat in the morning, which, in Eiji’s mind, is very much doable. It didn’t stop him from getting up in the morning and going about his day normally. There was too much to do today for him to take it easy - Ibe would be arriving soon to take pictures with Eiji.

Around lunchtime came the headache. Eiji had been with Ibe up until this point, helping him take landscape photographs. Ibe had traveled several hours out of his way to take pictures of Eiji’s small, scenic town that he and Ash had chosen to live in. There were several beautiful gardens that were perfect subjects for photography. Despite his efforts in mental willpower, Eiji couldn’t ignore the discomfort he was experiencing. The slight scratchiness had turned into a sharp, stabbing pain in his throat, accompanied by the dull throb of his head. Eiji had done a decent job of covering his discomfort, however, as Ibe failed to mention it throughout the day.

After working for several long hours in the direct heat, Eiji was miserable. The sun was setting now, and he felt incredibly weak. All of his symptoms had just continued to intensify throughout the day, much to Eiji’s disappointment. Ibe was packing up all of his equipment.

“Great work today, Ei-chan. You really have an eye for this stuff,” he said, folding a tripod and placing it into a case.

Eiji smiled. “Thank you, Ibe-san.” Truth be told, Eiji was hardly listening. All he wanted to do was get home and lay down. 

“Want to grab dinner before I head out?” Ibe asked as he finished packing up his equipment.

Eiji smiled apologetically, then said, “I’m sorry, Ibe-san. I think I need to get back home soon. Ash is probably waiting.”

Ibe nodded understandingly. “Of course! We’ll meet up again soon. I think I need to head out this way again in the next few weeks. I’ll tell your family you said ‘hi’ when I’m back in Izumo.”

With a wave to Ibe, Eiji began the walk back to the apartment. He sighed, thinking about how when he got back, he still needed to make dinner. Although he was learning, Ash was still not very good in the kitchen.

The walk back to their apartment was not very far from where Eiji and Ibe wrapped up for the day. That said, Eiji could tell his body was moving much slower than normal. Just walking felt like an overexertion of energy. By the time he made it to their front door, Eiji had felt a thin layer of sweat covering his face. He felt very weak, too; his muscles were aching worse than they did after pole-vaulting practice back in high school.

“ _Tadaima, Ashu_ ,” Eiji called as he removed his shoes by the door. They were doing little things like this to help Ash practice Japanese, but still mostly spoke in English.

Ash poked his head around the corner, excited to see Eiji back. “ _Okaeri_ , Eiji.”

Eiji smiled, walking into their apartment, trying to ignore how bad he felt. “Your pronunciation is definitely getting better,” Eiji said. Then, with a smirk, he added, “For an American, anyway”

Ash rolled his eyes, then said in a playful tone. “Now that’s no way to be. I think I’m pretty good.” He walked closer to Eiji to give him a hug, then frowned upon getting a better view of him. “Why are you so flushed? You feeling okay?”

Eiji waved him off. “It was so hot today, I got overheated.” 

_He’s way too perceptive._

Ash stared at him a moment longer, then his expression returned to normal. 

“If you need me to, I can try and make dinner. You’ve had a long day,” Ash said, watching Eiji walk towards the kitchen.

Eiji waved him off, then said in a teasing tone, “It’s most likely for the best that you leave the cooking to me. While I make dinner, you can watch _Sesamisutorīto_.” (Sesame Street)

Ash smiled flatly, then said, “Okay, smartass. I’ll be over here then.”

Eiji walked into their small kitchen, opening their fridge. He stared for a moment at the contents, waiting for a spark of inspiration. He felt a twinge of guilt for lying to Ash about feeling ill, but Eiji wasn’t really the type to complain when it came to his own problems. Now, if _Ash_ had lied to him about feeling ill, Eiji would be upset. But that was different, of course.

Eiji finally decided on making fried rice, miso soup, and steamed vegetables. When he started cooking, Eiji became so immersed in the task that he almost forgot how bad he felt; unfortunately, he was swiftly reminded when he opened the pot of steamed vegetables. The hot steam billowed in his face, and he found himself feeling incredibly light-headed from the sudden burst of heat.

He dropped the lid to the pot and grasped the counter top, shutting his eyes tightly until the feeling of vertigo subsided. All he could hear was a dull ringing noise. He took deep breaths, trying to return his body to normal.

He was startled when he felt a hand land on his shoulder. He opened his eyes, glancing over to see Ash with a concerned look on his face. He could see that Ash was trying to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear him. The room was still spinning at this point, so he shut his eyes again so that he wouldn’t develop any nausea.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy from the steam,” Eiji said. Within a few moments, the ringing subsided, and he could gradually hear his boyfriend talking to him again.

“Why are you ignoring my questions?” He heard Ash ask.

He furrowed his brow. “What? No - sorry, I couldn’t really hear you very well.”

Ash’s face was taut with concern. “Sit down for a sec, okay?” 

Eiji nodded, feeling pretty weak. Ash gently guided him to the floor, allowing him to momentarily rest. Eiji heard him turning the stove off, then he sat down in front of him. He held a hand to Eiji’s forehead.

“Eiji, you’re burning up.”

Eiji shrugged. “It was hot steam.”

Ash frowned. “Eiji…” His tone was laced with warning.

Eiji sighed. “I’m fine. Seriously. I’ll finish dinner and then we can go to bed.”

“You won’t do anything except get in bed, like, now. I’ll finish dinner and bring you some. You need rest.”

Eiji and Ash engaged in a staring contest of wills, which Ash won after a few moments. Eiji conceded with a sigh.

“Fine.”

“Thank you. Can you walk?”

“Yes, I can walk,” Eiji said, pulling himself up from the floor. His legs felt a bit shaky, but overall he was good to walk. He rested against the counter for just a moment longer as the blood rushed to his head. He closed his eyes for a moment.

“Are you sure?” Ash asked, eyeing him.

Eiji opened his eyes, offering a glance at Ash. “Don’t worry so much! I’m okay.”

Ash got up from his set on the floor and nodded. “Okay, go to the room then. I’ll follow you in just a sec.”

Eiji slowly made his way to their room. When he slid their bedroom door shut, he allowed himself to express his discomfort a bit more freely. He welcomed the slight relief the darkness brought to his headache. He weakly walked to their bed, sitting on the edge. He rested his head in his hands for a moment, rubbing his temples. He felt much worse than he was letting on to Ash, but only because he hated it when Ash worried over him for nothing. Their life in Japan was supposed to be a ticket to a carefree life, leading Eiji into the habit of not telling Ash about his problems enough.

After a few moments, their bedroom door slid open, and Ash walked in with a tray. The light from the hallway made Eiji wince a bit, which did not go unnoticed by Ash.

“Now, if I didn’t know any better, I would say that you lied to me earlier about not feeling well,” Ash said playfully as he approached the bed. “But that doesn’t sound like something my _honest_ boyfriend would do, right?” He set the tray on the bedside table.

Eiji glared at Ash, but there was no malice behind his eyes. His gaze softened after a moment. “All right. I’m not feeling great today. Happy?”

“Oh yeah, Eiji, thrilled,” Ash said as he sat down beside him. “I don’t really understand what the point of lying was.”

Eiji didn’t have anything to say to that. He kept his eyes on the tray Ash had brought in. Ash had grabbed a bowl of miso soup for Eiji, a glass of water, and a thermometer. Ash sighed, standing up again and grabbing the thermometer.

“Okay, open up.”

Eiji complied, allowing Ash to rest the thermometer under Eiji’s tongue. They waited for a few moments before hearing the device beep. Ash removed it from his mouth and frowned at the reading.

Eiji raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“103. That’s… pretty high.”

Eiji tried to convert that to Celsius mentally. Ash seemed to see the gears turning in his head and laughed.

“39.4 Celsius,” he supplied.

“Yeah, I was about to say that,” Eiji said with a small laugh.

Ash smiled, but the smile didn’t make it to his eyes. Eiji found concern in them, instead.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” Ash said softly.

“I don’t like worrying you over nothing.”

“Well passing out in the kitchen isn’t _nothing,_ Eiji.”

“I didn’t pass out.”

“Excuse me, basically passing out.”

After a few moments of silence, Ash spoke up again.

“I wish you would lean on me more. You can depend on me too, you know?”

_That’s not it._

“I know. I just…” Eiji trailed off, trying to consider his words. His head felt a bit hazy. “I just want you to have a carefree life.”

“Having a carefree life and you telling me when something is wrong aren’t mutually exclusive.”

He knew Ash was right. But in that moment, Eiji realized it ran a bit deeper than just wanting Ash to have a carefree life. This was just how it’s always been for him.

When Eiji didn’t respond, Ash walked to the door. “I’m going to finish some things up out here, but I’ll be back in just a bit. Try and eat some of that soup.”

Eiji nodded, and Ash left.

After about thirty minutes had passed, Ash returned to the room, holding a cloth. He walked over to Eiji, who had now laid down and changed into pajamas. Ash put a cold cloth on his forehead. He glanced at the soup on the bedside table, noticing it was basically untouched.

“I’m sorry,” Eiji said, noticing Ash’s glance. “I don’t really think I can eat.”

Ash shook his head. “It’s okay, don’t force yourself. It’s probably from the fever. Can I get you anything before we go to sleep?”

Eiji shook his head. He wasn’t really sure what medicine would help, so he decided to try and sleep off his symptoms. “Just you.”

Ash smiled. “Coming right up.”

Ash changed quickly before hopping into bed. Eiji felt bad for asking Ash to sleep with him almost immediately.

“Wait, Ash.”

“What?”

“Maybe I should sleep on the couch tonight. I don’t want to get you sick.”

Ash scoffed. “Please, I won’t get sick.”

That comment earned him a hard look from Eiji.

Ash quickly added, “And, honestly, I won’t be able to sleep away from you. I need to be right here just in case something happens.”

Eiji sighed. “All right. If you’re sure.”

Ash pulled Eiji a bit closer as an answer. Eiji rested his head on Ash’s chest, shivering a bit.

“Cold?”

Eiji nodded. Ash pulled the covers around him a bit more and wrapped his arms around Eiji, trying to give him as much warmth as possible.

“I’m sorry.”

“You need to stop apologizing, Eiji.”

“No, I am though. I had a bit of a realization earlier. I’ve always been like that--like, not telling others when something is bothering me. I hate being a burden.”

“You aren’t a burden, Eiji. Never have been.”

“Now that’s just not true.”

Ash looked down at Eiji. “Yes it is. Why would you say that?”

Eiji shifted a bit. He didn’t expect to have to elaborate. “Well, I mean, I wasn’t doing much of anything useful in New York. You constantly had to protect me…” he sighed, then added in a very quiet voice, “And more than that you sacrificed so much.” He left that last part vague intentionally. He wasn’t referring to one specific incident: he had several in mind.

Eiji felt Ash’s arms tighten around him a bit. Ash carefully considered his next words.

“I need you to understand that you were never a burden. What you did for me…no one else could’ve done it. You showed me that even _I_ deserve happiness.”

Eiji felt his chest begin to tighten. “Anyone could’ve done that.”

“No,” Ash said sternly. His voice was hard; then, it softened. “Only you.”

Eiji didn’t respond with words, opting instead to get impossibly closer to Ash.

Ash gave him a gentle kiss on top of his head, and they both fell asleep with similar thoughts in their tired minds.

_How did I manage to find someone as good as you?_

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this!  
> it ended up being like a slight hurt/comfort under the guise of a sickfic lol  
> with that said, i didn't really get much into the sick part of the sickfic with this, so i might add a follow-up chapter of ash taking care of eiji.


End file.
